Don’t Change: The New You is Not YOU

Don’t Change: The New You is Not YOU

Whew…we did it.  It is a new month and we can finally put all the New Year-New You B.S. behind us.  Just because we peel off a new page of our spiral bound calendar, does not mean we are about to reveal a whole new version of last year’s model of ourselves.  How would a difference of one second suddenly make us new again?  It is no different than thinking on Monday we will eat better, or this new job will make us successful, or the new romance will suddenly make us feel loved. None of this is true.  It doesn’t work.  Of course, I don’t need to tell you that. I am sure you have fallen victim to several schemes and themes promising your great rebirth into the superhero you were always meant to be–if only you would ________. Fill in the blank with the latest pitch. The reason this approach doesn’t work is that you are searching for something outside of yourself to complete you.  This is a classic sign of Outsourcing.  Outsourcing is the 2nd Freedom-Blocking Behavior I talk about in my book, SOAR.  It is that deep inner feeling we have that we are just not good enough as we are.  It has us spinning around from place to place or person to person seeking some validation for who we are.  Outsourcers are constantly in fix-it mode. They often straddle between their social media addiction and people-pleasing. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with people offering ways for us to enhance our lives.  I also have no problem with them charging a commensurate amount for...
The Secret Formula for Keeping The Weight Off

The Secret Formula for Keeping The Weight Off

Here we are again. The time of year when we are almost forced to do a personal assessment of ourselves. There is now a clear before-and-after line that demarcates our success or failure. Ringing in the new year wakes us up to what worked and what we want to leave behind. The #1 goal for most is to shape up physically. We want to drop the weight, get our six-pack abs, finish a competition or just fit back into our high school jeans. We can see the end result and we want it. We are committed. Sure, everyone says that this time of year, but for you…this year is different. This year you have a big enough “WHY”. In fact, you will not let one granule of sugar cross your lips for 90 days. People will compliment you wherever you go, you no longer have to hide behind baggy sweaters and untucked shirts, or go to the beach with a t-shirt on. (Like you were fooling anyone about your sun-sensitivity.) Pizza and ice cream will no longer be your late night comfort buddies. All your bad habits will magically disappear. Life will be wonderful again. But it won’t work this year either. I know you are not shocked by this. Deep inside, there was a little voice that didn’t believe your promise to drop weight anyway. It doesn’t matter if your “why” is big or your butt is big. Your promises won’t work. And then, this will happen: You start justifying reasons you didn’t stick to your plan. You allow cheat or free meals…which turn into days. You find...